a new beginning.

So, I'm sitting here in the O.R. Tambo International Airport, watching the sun rise over Johannesburg, and all I can think about is how I would rather be at the baby house getting the kids out of their cribs right now. I'm happy to be coming home soon (between wireless internet, REAL coffee, and feeling safe in a car, I'm pumped to come home), but I'm also sad to be leaving. The last few days have been so, so crazy here. My last two days of work, I was in charge of all of Starfish. Auntie Mary was off, so I was basically the one in charge! That means that I was the one preparing and giving all of the medication and kindof bossing around a new volunteer who is older than my parents. It was a little overwhelming the night before when I was reviewing how to prepare all of the medication (one of the things I had to do was poke two holes in a teeny pill and try to blow the gel from the inside into a spoon, then feed that gel to a baby girl-ahh!!), but it went so well. The little girl with cerebral palsy is back, so I was so glad to see her again and see how much progress she has made in just a week! It is a miracle. As I reflect on my time in Starfish, I am struck with how each of their lives is really a small miracle. Most of these kids were severely neglected, on the edge of starvation, and on medication when they came in. Now, almost all of my kids are going to be adopted by the end of September.

I wasn't really sure how to come home with all that I've experienced in South African these past two months. I felt like I was holding all of these experiences and lessons and children in my hands, not quite sure what to do with them or how they applied to my American life. Last week, however, I was at a funeral for one of my little girls (I briefly mentioned her in another post...it broke my heart when she passed away from AIDS two weeks ago.) that I really, really loved, and the pastor said some things that really spoke to me. He said that in life, it's not really about the duration, but about the deposit you make. This little girl's life was short, but from the surprising amount of people at her funeral, she obviously touched a lot of lives. He said that now because of her, I have a connection to every orphan, to every child affected with AIDS, and whenever I think of her, it reminds me to serve. That's what I'm bringing home with me. Although I leave a few pieces of my heart in Africa with my kids, I am bringing home their faces, their laughs, their cuddles, and a continual reminder to serve. Wow, I'm starting to cry, but I really don't want to mess up my makeup. I have a long flight home!

Thanks so much for following my blog. I'm not sure if I will update more or not, but feel free to check. And please, whenever you think of me or this blog again (if ever), please pray for my kids in South Africa. I so appreciate all of your prayers and thoughts thus far. Also, please take my experiences as a challenge to serve in whatever capacity you can wherever God has placed you. When you serve others, God expands your heart and fills it with His joy-it makes life worth living. Don't settle for a mediocre life when God has the BEST just waiting for you to take.

All to Him,
Emily

changes in starfish.

Hi everyone! Wow, it has been a crazy past few days. Where to begin?

Well, last week one of my boys was transferred to the toddler house! He turned one last month and just learned to walk, so he will be fine there. The sad thing is that I can't see him every day anymore, but I am glad that his development is to the point where he can move up on the food chain here. We also moved one of the babies from upstairs to downstairs with us in Starfish. He was having some trouble with early development, so we all decided it was best to try to remedy it now before it becomes more of an issue. He is three months old, and so cute!

We also got a new 11-month old from the hospital who has cerebral palsy. Her story breaks my heart. Early in her life, her mother dropped her off at a creche, sort of like a daycare center. She never came back to pick her up, and during her time at the creche she contracted meningitis. Creches stop taking care of children who aren't monetarily supported by their families, so this meningitis got worse and worse until she was admitted to the hospital. At the hospital, she was diagnosed with cerebral palsy. What kills me is that her entire condition could not have only been treated, but prevented. Now her muscles are tight and her joints do not bend, it is difficult for her to swallow things, she can only open her right eye, and she sleeps most of the time due to her medicine cocktail she must take every few hours-everything from morphine to seizure medication. She also weighs barely over 11 pounds. I could tell you so many stories similar to this one from my time at Door of Hope. It amazes me what adults will do to children when they are desperate.

Please pray for this new baby, as she has just been transferred to hospice today. I'm not sure if she will be able to come back before I leave, but I trust that now she is being well-cared for. It is crazy to me that I only have a week left before I return to America. I will never forget these children, my African babies.

All to Him,
Emily

adventure!

Hi everyone! I hope that you all are well. I just returned from a two day trip to the Drakensburg Mountains in Mpumulanga (which is easier to pronounce than it looks). It was so fun! I went with Rachel from my flat, and two other volunteers, Sam and Heather. We decided on Friday that we wanted to have an adventure during our next days off, so we "planned" a trip to Kruger National Park and the surrounding area! By planning, what I really mean is that we decided we wanted to go, got some maps, and said we would leave at 6:00 AM and drive east (we were right on the border of Mozambique, for those of you into geography).

I navigated and Sam drove for most of it, and we had a blast simply driving through the countryside and the mountains. I couldn't help but think that this was the "real Africa." Where I live is very suburban, and Johannesburg is very crowded and dangerous to walk around, so when I saw little huts, fields, and knew I was one of four white people for miles, I felt like I was really "in Africa." The mountains were gorgeous. I am convinced that the sky in Africa is bigger-like, hundreds of times bigger, bigger than I have ever seen in my life. Maybe it's just because a lot of Africa is flat, so you can see so much farther, but it is amazing.

During our adventure, we stumbled across beautiful waterfalls, scenic views of the mountains, monkeys scrambling across tunnels, and even a "crime zone." Don't worry-this "crime zone" was hilarious-a large strip of the shoulder of the road with "crime zone" spraypainted all across it. It was a ridiculous find! We also heard a lion roar through the forest. IT WAS SO LOUD!!!

We stayed at a little bed and breakfast that we found. Our hosts were Johann and Ina, a cute, parental couple who knocked off a few hundred rand off the price of the room for us. (We paid R100 each, about $12). They even let us use their kitchen so we could cook our own dinner rather than eating out! By the time we woke up and were ready to leave for Kruger National Park, Ina had made us a hot breakfast and packed it for us to take in the car with us. They were so kind and hospitable-things I have come to find in most South Africans.

Kruger was really cool! We saw so many animals, and I even saw monkeys and baboons!! Everything was really, really close to our car. As in, I could have probably reached out and touched the monkeys! We talked to the monkeys for a while and "played" with them from inside the car. They were definitely my favorite animal I saw, along with the baby hippo and the elephant!

We drove back on Tuesday afternoon/night. It was such a fun adventure! I felt like a true traveler, since all I brought with me was a backpack and some sneakers. Yes, this girl who loves clothes and shoes was able to pack everything she needed in one surprisingly light backpack. Miracles happen.

All to Him,
Emily

birthday celebration.

So, the past two days have been SO AWESOME here in South Africa. I got a package from my family-thanks, guys!!! I jumped up and down and screamed a little bit, I was so excited! I love all of the food, letters, pictures, stickers, etc.! Thanks for taking the time to send it! The next day, I got letters from two friends from school (Steph and Em-thanks so much!!!). It is so much fun getting mail here! It amazes me, actually, that it made it all the way over here haha.

Yesterday was the craziest, busiest, longest, but most fun day I've had since I've been here. It was one of my girls' birthdays! The one on oxygen turned one yesterday. It was even more exciting because she was OFF HER OXYGEN all day yesterday!!!! Wow, God is good. Kat and I were kept busy most of the day with party preparations and decorating. We also were training a new contract worker with Auntie Mary and taking care of three babies we have from upstairs for a few days. These babies are premature, and we've had them for about a week (they're only a week old or so), and most of the babies upstairs are getting sick, so they moved them down here for the time being to keep them away from the sick kids haha. However, during all of this-the birthday party, three little babies, daily chores, new people...all of our countertops are getting replaced!! So we were really busy keeping everything off of the counters and running upstairs and downstairs trying to warm bottles haha.

The birthday party was so fun, though! Everyone sang to her, then the director of Door of Hope prayed for her and over her for healing. She has come off her heart medication in the last few months, which is a miracle in itself, since the doctors told DOH that she had a heart condition. She also is getting off her oxygen now. Seriously, God is so good! I am continuing to pray for her complete healing and eventual adoption. Please join me in that prayer! I have complete confidence that God will answer.

I hope all of you are well and enjoying your summers! Dan, I hope you have fun in UGANDA!!!

All to Him,
Emily

holy spirit moments.

Hi everyone! As a warning, this will be a short post. I am running out of time during my "tea break," which really means "gross instant coffee and peanut butter toast break" to me.

God is so good. I was able to go to church yesterday morning and night, which was so awesome. It's a bummer when you work the weekend and can't go to church, so I am always grateful when we're able to go! There was a visiting pastor/missionary there, and he was SO AWESOME. He was talking a lot about the power of the Holy Spirit and how, as Christians, we all have access to that power. Because we have Jesus inside of us, and if we pray for the Holy Spirit to dwell more richly inside of us (sometimes called the baptism of the Holy Spirit), we are able to operate in the supernatural and in the miraculous. This has been my prayer since coming to Africa, thus it was so timely.

I had been feeling really down all day yesterday, so I was glad to be able to go back to church at night to hear this man speak again. I went up for prayer at the end, and Noelle (one of the elders who is really sweet) was praying for me. She put both her palms on mine, and lifted up my hands and told me to praise God for who He is. It was such a Moses moment-do you remember that story in the Old Testament? The Israelites were in the middle of a battle, and as long as Moses (at least I think it was him, haha) had his hands raised to God, they would be winning the fight. Moses started to get tired and his hands kept dropping. Every time his hands dropped, the Israelites would start to lose. His friend (Aaron?) came over and stood in the gap for Moses, helping him continue to raise his hands by holding them up over his head for him. That's what it felt like for me when Noelle raised my hands up-I had been feeling so down and tired and just blah...and immediately when she helped me raise my hands, I had to take this HUGE breath in, like I was breathing in the power and strength of Christ to help me through. It was awesome.

Africa is awesome. I am loving every minute, and I am so grateful that God has placed me here. I can only hope that He will call me back again.

Quick shout-out: Hannah, I hope your dance recital went well!!! I'm sure you looked beautiful!!! :)

All to Him,
Emily

a dream fulfilled.

Hi everyone! Sorry it's taken me SO LONG to update again!! It's been so busy here with diarrhea, runny noses, and remembering when everyone takes their medicine. :)

HOWEVER, on one of my days off this past week (Wednesday), I was able to go to Pilanesburg National Park with most of the girls and Russell and one of his friends from the States who's visiting!!! For those of you who don't know, that means that I WENT ON A REAL AFRICAN SAFARI!!!! It was so awesome! We basically were all in this big van which luckily had many windows and drove around teeny dirt roads through this huge park. About five minutes into the park, we saw a herd of wildebeest and zebra, all munching on some grass! I was so excited. I kept saying, "These are REAL! There are real live ZEBRAS right in front of our CAR!!" Everyone kindof laughed at me, because I seriously said it so many times, but they were just as excited. :)

I also saw rhinos, giraffes, elephants, springbok (kindof like gazelle/deer looking things...they are the name of the South African rugby team, so they're kindof a big deal), many different kinds of gazelle things like impala and kudu, this huge snake sunning itself on a rock, hippo, warthogs (they seriously looked just like Pumba from the Lion King!), etc. etc. I was SO EXCITED!!! I have so many pictures that I will post to Facebook, then I will post the link on my blog for you guys. My favorites were the elephants and the giraffes!! I love them!! And they were SO big!! I couldn't believe that I was able to see all of those animals in the wild! That is one thing that I have always said that I wanted to do before I died...so I guess I am one step closer to dying! Haha just kidding...

But speaking of dying, I couldn't believe it when I heard that Michael Jackson died yesterday! That was the first thing I heard when I woke up today-Kat looked at me and said, "Hey, did you know that Michael Jackson died?" It was really weird to wake up to that comment haha. It is all over the radio today, so we have heard many, many Michael Jackson songs. I have declared to all of the children in Starfish that every time one of his songs comes on, we need to have a mini dance party. It is HILARIOUS-I basically just dance around them looking like an idiot, and they all stare at me and laugh. I am so glad that there are no videos or pictures of this. :)

Well, I will update more later! Thanks to all of those who are praying for Auntie Mary! A good update on the baby who was in the hospital is that she is back home now! She is doing much, much better, and has even been weaned off a liter of oxygen (she was on 2.5, now she's just on 1.5). Praise God!

All to Him,
Emily

"you white people, you don't have to worry."

Things are going pretty well here at Door of Hope. Aside from everyone screaming today in unison from approximately 7:00 AM until 10:00 AM, it's been a good day. ;) Right now it is 1:27 PM my time, and I am taking my much-needed lunch break haha.

When I work here, I always work with Auntie Mary. She is an awesome Congolese woman living in South Africa with her husband. I love working with her because she is FULL of joy, no matter how many kids are screaming at the moment. I love getting to talk to her about her life.

Yesterday I was able to talk with her for a while about what she was praying about at the moment. I was so challenged. I have noticed that every spare moment she gets, whether that be waiting for lunch to cook, her break time, the kids' nap time, or whatever, she always goes into the sick baby's room (who is still in the hospital, by the way, but is doing much better) and prays and reads her Bible. I mean, every spare second this woman is praying! I asked her yesterday what she prayed about all the time, and she said that I might not understand, but she would tell me.

She said that as a black person, she has to pray all the time against curses on her life. It is apparently very common once someone leaves the village or gets married that there is a family member who was offended in the process. That family member then proceeds to declare curses on that person's head, asking for them not to have children or to be sick or not to be happy. Auntie Mary told me this whole crazy story that once she was asked to be married, she got this disease on her face, all these huge dark black spots all over her face. She got this disease the day after she was asked to be married. She is convinced that this is because someone was offended and was praying for her to be cursed.

Auntie Mary kept telling me how important it is for her to pray and pray for her and her husband, because if she forgets, something always happens. She said that as a white person, I don't have to worry about magic and mysticism, but that as a black person from the Congo, she really has to pray against it. I told her that something I'm learning is the power of the declaration. As Christians, the Bible says that we have Christ in us. Because of that, we have Jesus' power in our spoken word, so that when we declare something about His Kingdom down here on earth, the Bible says that it WILL happen. In the Lord's Prayer, it says, "Your Kingdom come, Your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven." Jesus modeled for us here that if we see something here on earth that is not a part of His heavenly Kingdom, we have the authority to pray against that and literally pray for His Kingdom to be manifested here on earth in that situation. (By the way, I didn't think all of this stuff up on my own. I am learning so much about this from the book When Heaven Invades Earth,by Bill Johnson. Go pick up a copy-it's awesome!!)

Please join me in prayer for Auntie Mary and her family. She is in the process of writing me a list of more specific prayer requests. If you'd like a copy, please let me know.

Something else that has changed in Starfish is the addition of a new member! We have a new 18-month old girl who is HIV positive. She arrived yesterday and is very, very malnourished. I have never seen a child like this in all my life except for in those commercials you see about adopting African children on TV. I mean, skin and bones, hair like straw, huge tummy...my heart is just torn for her! I've been tending to her all day. She smiled today at me, and I got so excited!!! In her medical records, it said that she had never smiled, so I think it might be a big deal that she did so today. I held her for a long time today, and she FINALLY accepted some food and a little liquid. I was really excited as she ate, but my hopes for her eating anything this morning were a little crushed as I rubbed her back while she vomited everything back up. Please pray for her. She is so beautiful and curious, and I just want her to get well! Because she is HIV positive, she might have to go to another home, but I'll keep you posted.

She spent most of the morning on my back, African papoose style. All you mothers out there--I HAVE to teach you how to do this. It is awesome! A child can be on your back while you do whatever you have to do around the house! She was crying and crying, but as soon as I put her on my back in the papoose, she stopped crying and fell asleep. Apparently, this is what happens to most children in this magical papoose. The best part is-you don't have to buy a special piece of cloth! Just use a bath towel! I am seriously doing this once I have kids-it is so sweet!

I'll update again soon. I haven't forgotten that I need to tell you about Nelson Mandela's house and Soweto!

All to Him,
Emily